The Worst Flatmates

I've had some pretty bad ones in my time. I've been sharing accommodation since i was in my uni days, and still do it now to help me pay the mortgage. I think though, the time has come to get rid of them, and find another way to raise that extra money.

It all started with a very scary psychotic guy last year. Hubby interviewed him and agreed he could move in, said he seemed to be a quiet guy who worked long hours as a decorator and had recently quit smoking. Neither of us smoke and don't want smokers in our house, so we always state that we want non-smokers when looking for new housemates. I met him the next day when he moved in, and the first thing i noticed about him was he stunk. Of nicotine. Perhaps it's the patches, i hoped. He wouldn't look me in the eye when i shook his hand, which is something i don't like - if a person doesn't meet my eye or does the opposite, stares too hard with a fixed gaze, it indicates they're hiding something. This guy was definitely hiding something - he had a raging temper especially when drunk, and was still a smoker. After a few days of me barricading the doors of the room when i went to sleep, we asked him to leave and that's when he got very aggressive, sizing up to hubby and shouting that it was his right to smoke around our house and if we didn't like it, too bad! Hubby stayed calm and we wrote out a list of numbers of people looking for lodgers and also the youth hostel so he could ring them. He moved out the next day thankfully, his daughter came with him to keep him calm when he came to collect his bond.

Three months later hubby got a call from him. He didn't appear to remember hubby but was calling for the advertised room. This time he admitted he was a smoker answering an ad for a non-smoking room. We said no thank you :) Wonder how many rooms he'd been through in that time?

My current flatmate seemed fine when she first came to see the house and moved in, except she seemed to have an extraordinary amount of trouble remembering which house it was when she came to pay the bond and then to move in. I had to go out each time to call her from the street when i saw her wandering up and down. Unfortunately, she's turned out to be a completely airheaded careless girl. I've nicknamed her Bimbo.

To show you why she deserves this name, let me tell you a story. One night after she'd been here a fortnight or so, the last bus of the night went past and she still wasn't home. She doesn't have a car so it's her only transport. But 10 minutes later i heard heels clopping along the road. Must have forgotten which stop to get off at, i thought. Odd. But the heels went past my house and faded out of earshot. Not Bimbo then. Five minutes or so later, they headed back up the street. This was pretty late at night and i was in bed listening to these footsteps. They kept going past my house and again out of earshot. She did this six times in total before i heard her open the front gate and try different keys in the lock five times before she got the first door open. I'd only given her three keys!

She's done worse lately. She had her door open when hubby walked past and he noticed a white spot on her wall, he thought she'd chipped it. I opened her door when she out and confirmed that it was a spot i'd patched previously but hadn't yet painted. As i was doing that however, i noticed three triangular spots of melted carpet. She'd ironed something on the carpet and tipped the iron over (apparently three times!), and melted the nylon carpet! I ran to check the iron and sure enough, it's got melted carpet stuck to the baseplate. Why she didn't use the ironing board i don't know; it's right next to the iron. I've now got to go get a quote from the carpet installers for the cost of replacing it. Hopefully her bond will cover it.

I am wary of asking her to leave as she gets in very stroppy moods - she slammed shut my sliding gate in the driveway so hard one morning when she was cross the stopper bolt was forced past the guides so nothing was holding it upright, it tipped over and hit the driveway, chipping the paint off the frame. She's supposed to be leaving at the start of next month so i will be asking for a specific date and telling her it's because i've got someone else booked to move in.

So so sick of bad flatmates. I've had some good ones and some fantastic ones, but it seems those ones have vanished into thin air as i haven't been able to find any for a long time now.

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