Saturday, 15 July 2017

Toilet training - regression

Ah, nothing like the fun of thinking your toddler is now out of nappies for good (daytime anyway) ... until the regression hits.

We're now in it. He's gone from taking himself to the toilet, and saying yes or no when you ask if he needs to go (if he hasn't been for a while, not being pushy), to leaving huge puddles on the floor. Sometimes several minutes after I've asked him if he needs to go and him saying No.

I'm so sick of washing dirty items today. We had a dirty night nappy this morning (really unusual), which took about 5 rinses in the machine before I would put the rest of the wet stuff in. Bub had a nappy blowout which went all through her clothes and on her bouncer so I had to wash the cover. Then G jumped into her bouncer while DH was watching him, while I was changing bub and before I'd taken the cover off, so his fresh clothes that he'd had on 5 minutes after the last accident had to be changed again and put in the machine. And no sooner had the wash finished, E had one of his episodes of encopresis so there was another pair of undies to clean. G flooded 2 sets of clothes and one set of PJs today (we leave him in undies until bed so this was right after his shower - we get him to go to the toilet before shower too), so more washing. It's almost like he's doing it for attention. His behaviour has been really bad this week. Took me 90 minutes to get him to sleep tonight. DH was asleep on the sofa before any of the kids and after having dealt with numerous fights and tantrums during the day I'm over it by the time he's climbed up on the bunks to turn the light on for the third time and really could do with the co-parenting help.

And I really need to mop the floors again and clean the toilets but I'm too tired to handle bleach safely.

Am hoping there's an improvement in his behaviour, particularly his 'listening and obeying' skills, and reluctance to go to sleep, once he turns 3.

Tuesday, 4 July 2017

Toilet training - week 4

We're now into the part of toilet training that is the longest, but easier than the first few weeks - where the child practices their new found skill. We have some days with no accidents and some with several (particularly in the afternoon and if he's refused to nap that day). We've had a #2 accident, but many more successes. The most important skill he's learnt - he's pretty much taking himself to the toilet now when he needs to go rather than me needing to ask.

So I probably won't update now for a few months. By then, accidents should be fairly unusual and hopefully he'll be learning to wipe successfully. From experience though that can take years.

Sunday, 25 June 2017

Toilet training - week 3

Day 1, he was overdue for a #2. He had a wee accident in the afternoon and I took him to the toilet, asking him to see if there was any more to do while I cleaned up. There was a tiny #2 in the bowl so he got praise and chocolate and I made a big fuss about how poo in toilet got 2 chocolates. After I put the boys to bed I was downstairs feeding the baby and he called out from upstairs, "Mummy! Poo!" so I assumed he'd done it in his nappy and took my time going up. Unlatched bub, took G from his room telling him to go to his mat and reminding him that poo in nappy was yuck and it belonged in the toilet, to which he agreed. Well, I got shown!

Nappy was clean, so I asked him to sit on the toilet. No wee, he exclaimed after 2 seconds and got off so I put him back on and asked him to try a bit longer for a poo. Gave him a book to read... and success! Bub and I were sitting on the rug just out of sight so he wasn't pressured with an audience but could still see my legs. So he got 2 chocolates and brushed his teeth again and we tried to Skype my parents but they were out. Hubby was out as usual. Think G thought it was pretty good being up regardless and took several 'cuggles' with me and bub to get him lying down in bed again! E slept through the entire thing, he's such a good sleeper now.

So pretty impressed that he knew to tell me he had to go, and waited that long for me to get him on the loo :) Think he's well on the way to learning.

Nearly the end of the week now and we've had more #2s on the toilet, and he takes himself about half the time. The other half he can stop once he's realised and we can get him to the toilet to finish. We're on about 1-2 accidents a day, more if he's drunk more that day. So I can't yet venture far from home with him and bub on my own. However I'm feeling hopeful as I can see his progress. Another month or so, and I think he'll have the accidents down to 1 or 2 a week.

I'm also leaving him in undies for his nap. Had one accident and six dry naps so pretty good. He's not had a dry nappy overnight at all this week though. I've put him in cloth overnight as he's not wetting that heavily, and a double stuffed cloth is holding it.

My aim is to help him be reliably day trained by September when they'll start back at daycare one day a week, ready to get all the bugs out of their systems before I head back to work in November.

Friday, 16 June 2017

Toilet training week 2

We've had a better week this week. I did timing for most of the week, that is taking him on waking and before sleep, plus 3 hours after the last visit. We had no successes with #2 but very few accidents with #1.

On Thursday I stopped taking him at the 3 hour mark; instead I just asked if he needed to go. Also asked if he was showing any signs of needing to. He did very well with this and is reliably saying yes when he does need to go.

Strangely enough he's had a wet nappy overnight more often than last week. Has stayed dry during his nap.

Steps learned - he can hold his urine, during the day and sometimes during sleep.
    - he can hold until he can get to the toilet (just the time required for a short run to the toilet and taking clothes off)
    - he is learning when he needs to go for #1 (he calls 'Ow! Hurt" and I ask if he needs to go, he replies with yes. He doesn't yet just take himself there each time)

Next steps to reach - he needs to learn when he needs to go, for both #1 and #2s
    - he needs to learn to take himself without help (may take a bit longer with the upstairs setup as the step is not as high)

Sunday, 11 June 2017

Birth story - baby #3


I had never been pregnant for this long before. I’d always gone past 40 weeks, but never 41 and yet there it was staring me in the face. I had made my next appointment with my midwife for 40+6, laughing as I told her I didn’t expect to still be pregnant at that point… but there I was. My previous pregnancies had had warning signs of the impending labour several days before, but I had had no signs yet of anything happening. On the morning I reached 41 weeks, I messaged my midwife and birth photographer to let them know nothing was happening yet. It will come, my midwife messaged back reassuringly, unconcerned.

She was right. That night after I went to bed, there was a sudden sharp pain, I rolled over and realised my waters had broken.

I was not having any contractions so texted my midwife to let her know and tried to sleep. My last labour (first VBAC) had gone for nearly a full day so I wanted to get as much rest as possible. After an hour, I started getting discomfort across my stomach. Nothing like contractions with my first two. I felt sick too and hoped I wasn’t getting food poisoning. Up and down to the toilet over the next hour until l realised the stomach pains were becoming regular. Then I twigged that this was what labour was going to be like this time around. Quite painful unlike previous, and I had to use all my concentration and hypnobirthing training to get through each one. I timed a few - 4 mins apart. Based on the last two labours I thought I had hours to go, but better get the birth pool filled now so it could help with the pain. 

Shook my husband awake (took a while!) but once he realised what was going on he was alert and started inflating the pool. Unfortunately the noise of the pump woke my youngest and DH lost precious minutes going up to settle him several times. We should have started filling it with water immediately. 

While this was going on I was stuck in the toilet upstairs trying to stand up before the next contraction hit. Called my midwife to tell her I was getting pushy and to come over. She was only a few suburbs away so I knew she’d be there quickly. I waited for the end of a contraction, got downstairs and called my birth photographer, who had a long drive ahead of her - by this point I hoped rather than expected her to arrive before baby. The sofa got covered with a waterproof sheet and DH went outside to get the hose to fill the pool. I was pushing involuntarily at the end of each contraction. My midwife arrived, took a look at me and told DH to stop with the pool and go wake the boys as the baby was coming now! She checked bub’s heart rate with the doppler as he ran upstairs.

He came downstairs with two very excited boys and my camera, took a few photos and then my midwife took over photo duties and told DH to get ready to catch. She talked me through breathing through the last few pushes as the stretching feeling became intense, and then there she was… we were surprised and delighted to find we had a healthy baby girl!

Baby and I were settled onto the sofa and vitals checked, a few minutes later then were car lights visible from the front of the house as my birth photographer arrived, followed shortly after by the backup midwife. The timestamp on my camera showed 6 minutes from the first photo to baby being born. I still couldn’t believe how quickly the labour and birth had gone. I had birthing snacks, hydrating drinks, snacks for my birth team ready, plans to tidy the lounge room where I birthed… our girl wasn’t waiting for any of that! From day 0 she has been very definite (and vocal) about what she wants or doesn’t like… I think we’ve welcomed quite a personality to our family and it will be a lot of fun watching our determined little girl grow up.

Saturday, 10 June 2017

Toilet training - reminders for next time

The toilet familiarisation we did with E (placing him on the toilet at strategic times during the day from just over a year old) really helped speed up the actual training. With G we placed him on before shower most days - it wasn't enough. Before and after naps and before nappy changes seems to work the best.

Leading up to the training week, letting them run around in the nude outside, and taking them to the toilet when they go or even just pointing out what they're doing, may be enough to help them learn to recognise the signs that they are going/need to go.

Get daycare to help if possible!


Saturday, 3 June 2017

Toilet training results

Day 1, halfway through first day of Hell Week (aka toilet training week):
Hits: 3   Misses: 5
He's not getting it yet. He is pretty pleased however when he does go on the toilet, but he's not yet twigged that all need to go on the toilet, and he can't just go anywhere like he could with a nappy. I suppose 2 1/2 years of training that he can go anywhere doesn't disappear in 4 hours. But I'm an impatient person, so it's hard to think that this is going to work when it doesn't immediately. I follow him around, watching him like a hawk (as difficult as you'd think when I have a babe trying to breastfeed at the same time). Every half hour I take him to the toilet. I gave up on undies after he wet through 3 pairs in an hour, so now he's running around nudie bum. Hubby keeps popping outside to do things so it's pretty much me doing the watching. Taking a break now while G naps... then on for the second shift. We haven't had a #2 yet so I'm thinking this arvo will be it...

Afternoon day 1: hits: 5   Misses: 3
Getting better at actually going when we sit him on, but its still just toilet timing. He hasn't yet recognised when he's started to go. No #2 yet. Also he mucked around after bedtime and when i went up an hour later he'd undressed and was undoing and redoing his night disposable (good thing about cloth is he can't undo the snaps!)

Day 2, morning: Hits: 5   Misses: 4
He got the first wee of the morning in the toilet, yay! The others were then started as accidents and finished in the toilet, although the last one he at least came running inside shouting, "Wee!" So he is starting to recognise when he's going. Just got to get that recognition earlier. For the last toilet before nap, he got up and went to the toilet voluntarily when i asked and did his first #2!! (we had had a #2 accident earlier but he hadn't finished it on the toilet.)

Day 2, afternoon: Hits: 2   Misses: 4
Ick. Well there's no going back now. He took his cloth nappy off twice during his nap (in which he didn't sleep) and cleaned up a #2 with a Lego booklet :( :( :( Bed was dry and clean and there was only a small amount on the floor. Not so great the rest of the arvo though. He weed on the floor after dinner (10 mins after refusing to sit on the toilet), but stopped himself (and appeared to be playing or trying to clean it up). Eventually convinced him to finish on the toilet which he did. Undies tomorrow. By the looks of the last 2 days we're going to need 8 pairs a day...

Have I mentioned I hate toilet training? E was so much easier. Def worth doing the toilet familiarisation that I did with E. The half-arsed effort I made with G hasn't helped as much.

Day 3, morning: Hits: 2   Misses: 1
Woke with a dry nappy! He then held for 3 1/2 hours, with us asking if he needed the toilet every 30 mins then every 15 as the time got longer, before he had an accident at the door of the toilet and finished on the toilet.

Day 3, afternoon: Hits: 5   Misses: 4
Dry nappy, went to toilet after nap. Had a slight miss when taking himself off to the toilet! But then an accident not half an hour later, but nothing when we took him to the toilet. Then another half hour, another accident, but this time we eventually convinced him to wee on the toilet. The rest of the arvo was a write off. Had to work really hard to convince him to go before dinner and before bed, but we did manage eventually to get a success.

Day 4, morning: Hits: 3   Misses: 1
Dry nappy, went to toilet in morning. Hubby asked if he needed to go an hour later and he said yes, and went! Whoo! Small steps.

Day 4, afternoon: Hits: 4   Misses: 0
Wet nappy but did go in toilet after nap. Am doing toilet timing at the moment, he's not taking himself. Took him every hour. He looked worried at one point, I asked if he needed to go, "Okay." Then "No!". 5 mins later he did the same thing, this time he said OK and let me lead him to the toilet... we got a #2! Thrilled with these as I hate cleaning soiled underwear... so much harder than cloth nappies. Took him before bed but he wouldn't go, so won't be surprised if he has a wet nappy tomorrow morning. Feeling less stressed now I'm doing the timing.

Day 5, morning: Hits: 2   Misses: 1
Wet nappy but did go to the toilet. Then I asked every hour, got him on the toilet before school drop-off but no wee... stayed dry during drop-off. By the time it got to 2 hours I asked every half hour. Got him on the toilet at 4 hours, nothing... walked outside and had an accident which he did willingly finish on the toilet.

Day 5, afternoon: Hits: 1   Misses: 1
Wet nappy after non existent nap. Did sit on toilet but nothing. Got through school run without mishap, accident around 2 hours after nappy change which I missed, and only knew from his wet clothes. Not super wet, but no result on toilet.

Day 6, morning: Hits: 3   Misses: 0
Dry nappy. Doing timing every 3 hours or before/after naps. I don't ask him as he says no, just take him by the hand and lead him there which generally avoids the power struggle. Required a full change of clothes as he didn't manage to point it down enough, but as he was on the toilet I didn't count it as a miss.

Day 6, afternoon: Hits: 3   Misses: 1
Dry nappy. Ew! Got called away from breastfeeding baby with the worst call in the world when toilet training.... "Mummy! Poo!" in a rather distressed sounding voice. Yuck. Will have to really watch him in 2 days time to try to get the next #2 on the toilet.

Day 7, morning: Hits: 3   Misses: 0
Dry nappy after sleep.

Day 7, afternoon: Hits: 3   Misses: 0
Dry nappy after nap. Not taking himself yet. Working on getting him to pull down his own pants and get onto the toilet, so when he does take himself it will be easier.

So week 1 of toilet training done. I'm a lot calmer than the first day. Still uneasy, especially when reaching that 3 hour mark, and every second day in the arvo when I will have to watch him carefully to try to catch that #2. I detest everything about #2 accidents... so different to cloth nappies where it's easy to take off and you just roll everything off the liner into the toilet and chuck the liner.

Steps learned - he can hold his urine, during the day and sometimes during sleep.
Next steps to reach - he needs to learn when he needs to go, for both #1 and #2s
   - he needs to learn to hold until he can get to the toilet (just the time required for a short run to the toilet and taking clothes off)
   - he needs to learn to take himself without help (may take a bit longer with the upstairs setup as the step is not as high)
Once those steps are reached I'll feel back to normal.